3/13/2005


It's St. Patrick's Month

and here's a joke for you...

CONFESSION

Two Irish lads had been out shacking up with their girl friends. One felt guilty and decided he should stop at the church and confess. He went into the confession booth and told the Father, "Father, I have sinned. I have committed fornication with a lady. Please forgive me." The Father said, "Tell me who the lady was." The lad said he couldn't do that and the Father said he couldn't grant him forgiveness unless he did.
"Was it Mollie O'Grady ?" asked the Father."
"No."
"Was it Rosie Kelly?"
"No."
"Was it that red-headed wench Tessie O'Malley?"
"No."
"Well then," said the Father, "You'll not be forgiven."

When the lad met his friend outside the friend asked, "So, did you find forgiveness." "No," said the other, "but I picked up three good prospects!"

It's St. Patrick's Month

And here's a song for you ...

Molly Malone

In Dublin's Fair City
Where the girls are so pretty
I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone
As she wheel'd her wheel barrow
Through streets broad and narrow
Crying cockles and mussels alive, alive o!

Chorus
Alive, alive o!, alive, alive o!
Crying cockles and mussels alive, alive o!

She was a fishmonger
But sure 'twas no wonder
For so were her father and mother before
And they each wheel'd their barrow
Through streets broad and narrow
Crying cockles and mussels alive, alive o!

Chorus

She died of a fever
And no one could save her
And that was the end of sweet Molly Malone
But her ghost wheels her barrow
Through streets broad and narrow
Crying cockles and mussels alive, alive o!

Chorus

3/12/2005


Is Gerry Parsky Al Checchi or Michael Huffington?

Gerry Parsky's thinking of running for Governor. Will anyone notice?

Parsky explores gubernatorial bid
Regents chair hints he'll run, but only if the governor doesn't.By Amy Chance -- Bee Political Editor
Published 2:15 am PST Saturday, March 12, 2005
Gerry Parsky, chairman of the University of California Board of Regents and President Bush's political point man in California, is quietly exploring the possibility of running for governor next year if Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger opts to bow out.
Parsky adviser Dora Kingsley made a recent trip to Washington, D.C., in which she floated the possibility to congressional and media representatives, and Parsky acknowledged in a written statement that he would not rule out the possibility.

"Should either President Bush or Governor Schwarzenegger again call upon me to consider additional public service in another capacity, I would seriously consider the honor," he said.


Despite his close ties to Bush, Parsky is a not a beloved figure in some quarters of the state Republican Party and is an untested statewide candidate.
But as a multimillionaire who serves as chairman of Aurora Capital Group, a Los Angeles-based investment firm, he is considered capable of paying for the campaign himself should he choose to do so.

He also has recently sent signals that he doubts Schwarzenegger will succeed in a sweeping effort to pass several initiatives on issues ranging from the state pension system to state spending controls in a special election showdown with Democratic interest groups.

Last week, he came to Sacramento to tell a legislative committee that, as chairman of the UC Board of Regents, he cannot support the governor's proposal to turn government pensions into a 401(k)-style system.

Parsky, whose stint as chairman expires next year, said Schwarzenegger's measure as drafted could damage the university system's ability to recruit faculty and therefore hamper the California economy. Kingsley said he has offered to help Schwarzenegger negotiate a compromise with legislative Democrats.

A month ago at the state Republican Party convention in Sacramento, Kingsley - a longtime GOP activist who is close to Parsky - resigned from the party's Rules Committee to protest its decision to pave the way for an early endorsement of Schwarzenegger's re-election.

The action was aimed at giving the party room to spend money preparing for Schwarzenegger's re-election campaign without violating its bylaws. Delegates then endorsed the governor on a unanimous voice vote.

Party Chairman Duf Sundheim said the move was necessary because new campaign finance limits prevent Schwarzenegger from collecting unlimited amounts for his own campaign treasury. The party is not subject to the restrictions.

But Kingsley argued that the move violated longtime party practice and would discourage competition in the Republican gubernatorial primary.

A spokeswoman for Parsky and Kingsley said this week, however, that Parsky was not considering challenging Schwarzenegger should he decide to run for re-election.

"We visited Washington and met with Republican leaders and advisers, refreshing a dialogue with friends and colleagues inside the Beltway," spokeswoman Elizabeth Blackney said. "Mr. Parsky and Dora are both totally supportive of the governor being re-elected at this point."

Some Republicans said they found it amazing that Parsky would have the temerity to offer his name given Schwarzenegger's current popularity, but weren't surprised that he did, given his past interest in key political positions.

"That is truly astounding and utterly believable," said Karen Hanretty, a spokeswoman for the state Republican Party.

Communications Director Rob Stutzman declined to comment on the possibility of a Parsky candidacy.

Party Rules Committee Vice Chairman Bob Naylor said any "anti-Schwarzenegger tone" to Parsky's interest would run contrary to the overwhelming support for the governor at the last convention. He said Parsky "probably didn't earn himself many Brownie points with the Republican grass roots" by testifying against the governor's pension plan.

"If this is the kind of exploratory effort that's a prelude to (a candidacy in) 2010, then it's just fine," he said. "Gerry Parsky would be on a list of very capable people out there when ... we have a very short bench. So I would encourage him to think about it, but not in 2006."

Naylor said he would be "shocked" if Schwarzenegger doesn't run for re-election.

"Everything in Arnold Schwarzenegger's lifetime suggests that he wants to be known as successful," Naylor said, "and I don't think he can be known as a successful governor given the depth of the problems of this state in only three years. The problems he is dealing with are so monumental and the political situation is so ideologically muscle-bound, it's just going to take more time."

Others suggested it might make sense to have a candidate waiting in the wings, given Schwarzenegger's unpredictable nature.

Schwarzenegger told CNN talk show host Larry King last November that he would decide whether he was running for re-election by spring.

But he hasn't repeated that statement recently, saying only that he is first focused on the policy proposals he hopes to put on the ballot later this year.

Schwarzenegger advisers say only that anyone who says they know what he will do doesn't remember his surprise announcement that he was running for governor in the first place, on "The Tonight Show" with Jay Leno in August 2003.

There remains, therefore, the risk that the party would be left without an obvious candidate for governor if the former actor decides late this year not to run.

But California political insiders are skeptical that Parsky could win a statewide election given his close ties to Bush.

Parsky served as chairman of the California delegation to the Republican National Convention in New York last year, but California voters decisively cast their ballots for Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry in November.

Blackney noted that Parsky has received appointments from each of the past five Republican presidents, including stints at the U.S. Departments of Treasury and Energy under former President Nixon. He served in 2001 and 2002 on Bush's Commission to Strengthen Social Security.

"Whether it's President Bush or President Reagan, he's always served the state of California and the American people well," Blackney said. "I don't see that his relationship with the current president of the United States would be a hindrance in any way."

It's St. Patrick's Month

And here's a song for you ...

DICEY REILLY

Oh poor old Dicey Reilly, she has taken to the sup
And poor old Dicey Reilly, she will never give it up
It's off each morning to the pop that she goes in
for another little drop
But the heart of the rowl is Dicey Reilly

She will walk along Fitzgibbon Street with an independent air
And then its down by Summerhill, and as the people stare
She'll say, "It's nearly half passed one
Time I went in for another little one
But the heart of the rowl is Dicey Reilly
Now at two, pubs close and out she goes as happy as a lark
She'll find a bench to sleep it off at St. Patrick's Park
She'll wake at five feeling in the pink
And say, "Tis time for another drink
But the heart of the rowl is Dicey Reilly

Now she'll travel far to a dockside bar to have another round
And after one or two or three she doesn't feel quite so sound
After four she's a bit unstable
After five underneath the table
But the heart of the rowl is Dicey Reilly

Oh they carry her home at twelve o'clock as they do every night
Bring her inside, put her on the bed and then turn out the light
Next morning she'll get out of bed
And look for a cure for her head
But the heart of the rowl is Dicey Reilly

3/11/2005


It's St. Patrick's Month

and here's a joke for you...

The mistress of a big English house called her Irish maid and pointed out the dust still on top of the piano. 'Mary' she said 'I could write my name in this dust'. Mary responded 'Isn't education a grand thing ma'm'.

It's St. Patrick's Month

And here's a song for you ...

A NATION ONCE AGAIN
When boyhood's fire was in my blood
I read of ancient freemen,
For Greece and Rome who bravely stood,
Three hundred men and three men;
And then I prayed I yet might see
Our fetters rent in twain,
And Ireland. long a province, be
A Nation once again!

Chorus:
A nation once again,
A nation once again,
And Ireland, long a province, be
A Nation once again!

And from that time, through wildest woe,
That hope has shown a far light,
Nor could love's brightest summer glow
Outshine that solemn starlight;
It seemed to watch above my head
In forum, field and fame,
Its angel voice sang round my bed,
A Nation once again.

Chorus.

It whisper'd too, that freedom's ark,
And service high and holy,
Would be profaned by feeling dark
And passions vain or lowly;
For, Freedom comes from God's right hand,
And needs a godly train;
And righteous men must make our land
A nation once again!

Chorus.

3/09/2005


It's St. Patrick's Month

and here's a joke for you...

The New Priest

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he couldn't stand still. He asked Father Murphy for some advice. Father Murphy replied, "When I'm worried about gettin' nervous on the pulpit, I take a wee bit o' whiskey. Just to calm my nerves." So the next Sunday he took the older priest's advice. Before the mass, he got nervous and took a drink. He then proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door:

1. A few sips of whiskey. Not the whole bottle.

2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Senior, Junior, and the Spook.

8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say "He was stoned off his ass."

10. We do not refer to the cross as the Big T!

11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it, for it is my body"; he did not say, Eat me."

12. The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the, "Mary with the Cherry".

13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yea God"

14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St. Patrick's, not a patrick-pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

It's St. Patrick's Month

And here's a song for you ...

FOUR GREEN FIELDS

"What did I have?" said the fine old woman
"What did I have?" this proud old woman did say
"I had four green fields, each one was a jewel
But strangers came and tried to take them from me
I had fine strong sons, they fought to save my jewels
They fought and died, and that was my grief" said she

"Long time ago" said the fine old woman
"Long time ago" this proud old woman did say
"There was war and death, plundering and pillage
My children starved by mountain valley and sea
And their wailing cries, they shook the very heavens
My four green fields ran red with their blood" said she

"What have I now?" said the fine old woman
"What have I now?" this proud old woman did say
"I have four green fields, one of them's in bondage
In stranger's hands, that tried to take it from me
But my sons have sons, as brave as were their fathers
My fourth green field will bloom once again" said she

3/08/2005


It's St. Patrick's Month

And here's a song for you ...

WHO THREW THE OVERALLS IN MISTRESS MURPHY'S CHOWDER?
Mistress Murphy gave a party just about a week ago,
Everything was plentiful, the Murphys, they're not slow.
They treated us like gentlemen; we tried to act the same
And only for what happened, well it was an awful shame.
Wkhen Mrs. Murphy dished the chowder out she fainted on the spot;
She found a pair of overalls at the bottom of the pot.
Tim Nolan he got ripping mad, his eyes were bulging out,
He jumped upon the piano and loudly he did shout.

cho: "Who threw the overalls in Mistress Murphy's chowder?"
Nobody spoke so he shouted all the louder.
It's an Irish trick that's true, but I can lick the Mick that threw
The overalls in Mistress Murphy's chowder.

They dragged the pants from out the soup and laid them on the floor;
Each man swore upon his life, he'd ne'er seen them before.
They were plastered up with mortar and were worn out at the knee,
They had their many ups and downs as we could plainly see.
And when Mrs. Murphy she came-to she 'gan to cry and pout,
She had them in the wash that day and forgot to take them out.
Tim Nolan, he excused himself for what he said that night,
So we put music to the words and sang with all our might.

chorus:

3/07/2005


It's St. Patrick's Month

and here's a joke for you...

As soon as she had finished convent school, a bright young girl named Lena shook the dust of Ireland off her shoes and made her way to New York where before long, she became a successful performer in show business. Eventually she returned to her home town for a visit and on a Saturday night went to confession in the church, which she had always attended as a child. In the confessional Father Sullivan recognized her and began asking her about her work. She explained that she was an acrobatic dancer, and he wanted to know what that meant. She said she would be happy to show him the kind of thing she did on stage. She stepped out of the confessional and within sight of Father Sullivan, she went into a series of cartwheels, leaping splits, handsprings and backflips. Kneeling near the confessional, waiting their turn, were two middle-aged ladies. They witnessed Lena's acrobatics with wide eyes, and one said to the other: "Will you just look at the penance Father Sullivan is givin' out this night, and me without me bloomers on!"